Gimp My Furniture

If you are a part time wheelchair user, then this might not be a problem for you, but I have lost all of my butt muscles. This creates some problems, mainly pressure sores and pain. I have an incredibly heavy and expensive cushion in my wheelchair, but I’m not always in my wheelchair. Rather than spend a fortune on cushions, I found a low cost way to convert my normal chairs into butt friendly furniture and I thought I would share.

Supplies needed:

Memory foam mattress topper

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YFB8VFF/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_ir3dEbMPA1QQJ

Hot knife

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QXT717K/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apap_MHXRdjnkh7AJ3

Upholstery fabric

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QZ4QVMQ/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_Yu3dEbT4X5P7H

Upholstery tacks

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076CJRV7J/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_sw3dEbFFXDR1B

Furniture

Directions:

Open the mattress topper and lay it out flat. It’s going to arrive vacuum sealed and tightly rolled. Use caution when removing the plastic. You don’t want to accidentally cut the foam.

At first, the topper will appear flat. It can take up to a hour to fully expand. Once it reaches its full 3 inch height, unzip the cover and set aside.

Measure the width and length of the inside of the chair. If you are using a regular straight back chair, then you may want to only upholster the seat. Since I was covering a very uncomfortable recliner/ lift chair, I decided to cover the back with one piece of foam and the seat and leg rest with another.

Add 1 inch to the measurements. This insures a tight fit so it doesn’t slide around. You can trim it down later if needed, but you can’t add to it if you cut it too small.

Measure the correct amount of foam and mark where you should cut. Again, it’s better to be too big and need to be trimmed than it is to be too small.

It’s time to cut. You could try a regular knife or very sharp scissors, but I highly recommend using a hot knife tool. Since the foam is so dense, it will take a lot of strength to cut through it, even if the knife is sharp. It’s also more dangerous, because the knife can slip. God knows how clumsy I am and I would never hear the end of it from my husband if I cut myself while playing Macgyver.

The hot knife is perfect for this. Instead of slicing it, it basically cauterizes a path wherever it goes. It is incredibly hot so use caution, but it works well for this project.

After cutting out the foam, it’s time to put it on the furniture. At first I was concerned that it would be too stiff to work with a recliner, but it bends with the chair in an position. This is when you can trim it down if needed, but a snug fit will help to keep it in place.

Now you can cover it with upholstery fabric. Cut it to size with a half inch seam allowance. Cover the entire chair, fold under the ends, and use the tacks to hold down the edges. Now your gimped out chair looks just like a normal chair, but it’s suitable for a pressure sore prone butt.

You could also use the lazy, although comfortable, method. Skip the upholstery fabric. Cover it with a Jersey knit sheet and pin it into place. Right now I just have the sheet on mine. I like the feel of the soft cotton and it can be removed easily and washed on a regular basis.

Estimated Cost:

Mattress topper, twin size– $80 (I only used about 1/3)

Hot knife— $24

Upholstery fabric— $17

Upholstery tacks — $9

Total cost— $130 with enough left over for at least one more chair, possibly two.

That’s a far cry from this $515 seat cushion.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S85M6KH/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_GNaeEb4E0QG45

HOW TO CLEAN A YETI RAMBLER

https://wp.me/p9v9R8-4

Drinking water is so important for your health, but so many people just don’t like the taste. My dear husband would eat lard with a spoon if I let him and he hates water. His knock off yeti, however, keeps it ice cold so he actually drinks it that way. Here is a great tutorial for how to keep your stainless steel cup sparkling clean.

(NSFW) In the Words of Salt n Pepper…

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

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I have had several people ask me about my sex life or just gimpy sex in general.  I thought it would be fun to answer them all in one monster post.  I do think that I should warn you that I don’t have a filter and I’m pretty open about sex.  If you are more modest then this may offend you.  The following post will contain discussions about human anatomy, fetish, sex therapy, sex workers, etc.  If you aren’t comfortable with any of this, then I understand and I will see you in the next post.

Do you have real sex with your husband?  If so, how?

This was by far the most frequent question asked.  I have to admit that I laughed at the “normal” part.  I never really cared for “normal” anything,  but I’m assuming they meant vaginal intercourse.   I have had 4 vaginal surgeries so we couldn’t do it that way while I was recovering each time.  There are other ways to be intimate and we took advantage of them all.  When I am okay for intercourse,  we do it like anyone who is able bodied.  I can even get on top if I am careful and hang on to the headboard for leverage.

 Do you still like sex?  Isn’t it just numb?

The spinal cord is a funny thing.  Someone can be paralysed or, in my case, have partial paralysis and still have quite a bit of feeling below their injury level.  Many people can’t feel anything superficial, but feel deep pressure in the muscles underneath their skin.  Some report that their nerves act strangely after.  For example, someone could be touching their back, but they feel it in their butt.   Others, like me, experience increased sensitivity and actually enjoy sex more after their injury.

 Is there anything different that you have to do, medically or otherwise, to have sex?

For me, not really, but a lot of wheelchair users do have some special needs.   Catheters are very common in the wheelchair community.   I have a sacral nerve stimulator that helps to stimulate the nerves that empty my bladder, but not completely.  I only need to cath 2x a day so I use a straight cath that is inserted to pee, then removed.  For those of us who can’t pee on their own at all, many people use an implanted catheter which means that it stays in the bladder.  A Foley catheter is inserted into the urethra and to have sex, a man can tape the tubing up the shaft of the penis and cover it with a condom.  A woman can simply push the tubing to the side.  This can be very uncomfortable so a supra pubic catheter  (a surgically implanted device that accesses the bladder through the belly) is often used.  Depending on the severity of the injury, men can have issues getting or maintaining an erection.   Viagra and vibrators can help tremendously.

Can you recommend anything that could make sex easier for someone with poor mobility?

Sex swings are very helpful and a lot of fun.  Many of us have a hydraulic lift that can used as a gimpy sex swing.

https://avacaremedical.com/pmi-hydraulic-patient-lifter?fee=14&fep=11212&gclid=Cj0KCQiAi7XQBRDnARIsANeLIetVdSlSwRDCNKu9_b7b-HkKYrdElLy9iS84gQk9yhkuEcm7rw9NCRgaAl0HEALw_wcB

pmi0087_hydraulicpatientlifter1

Sex furniture is very popular with able bodied people.

https://m.bonanza.com/listings/liberator-esse-lounge-chair-sex-lounger-64l-x-24w-x-24h/434098180?goog_pla=1&variation_id=221967627&gpid=173784728461&keyword=&goog_pla=1&pos=1o17&ad_type=pla&gclid=Cj0KCQiAi7XQBRDnARIsANeLIetgLF6pGuJqFHE894b60sBQlgYFAAylnW2sv7A2OqqbYrc7hDN7QqoaAvJ3EALw_wcB

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00690D9WQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_hXBdAbP4421M3

61BkwWneFgL._SY355_

For those who have problems with movement,  The Intimate Rider can assist with thrusting.   It’s basically a sexy, gimpy rocking chair.

cache_240_240_0_100_80_16777215_intimaterider_1

So does your husband have a fetish and that’s why he is still with you?

I won’t comment on my Hubby’s kinks in general,  but I will say that he isn’t a devotee and he isn’t trolling the medical supply store for dates.  A devotee is someone who has a fetish for disabled people.  I’m fine with whatever happens as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, but I do have an issue with using someone as a gimpy sex toy.  Don’t use us as some weird bucket list item, but then refuse to date us.  We’re people, not sex slaves on wheels.

 

 The Happy Ending

This has become a ridiculously long post, but I think I covered most of the questions.  I hope this is helpful for curious able bodied people,  but also for wheelchair users who think they can’t have sex.  Doctors and caregivers often overlook sexuality in the disabled.   Many treat us like children which is very unfair.   Sex and intimacy are an important part of relationships and life in general.   I also wanted to note that I am not a doctor and this isn’t a replacement for medical advice.   This is based on my friends and my experiences so other people do things differently.

Apple Strudel

This doesn’t contain affiliate links.

 

Ingredients:

½ cup almond or soy milk

¾ tsp vanilla

1 tsp cinnamon

3 apples, peeled, cored and chopped (I like Pink Lady)

¼ cup dried cherries

½ cup gluten-free rolled oats

¼ cup chopped walnuts

2 Tbs ground flax seeds

 

Directions:

Peel, core and chop apples.  (I use this because it is easier for me to use and it cuts down on prep time.)

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HNEOPQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_N8w-zbJGYDGWH

41RYrb99yKL._SY400_

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix together milk, vanilla, and cinnamon.

Stir in remaining ingredients.

Pour mixture into a greased 8×8-inch baking dish.

Bake, uncovered, for 1 hour.

Gizmopal 2 Review

This is not a sponsored post. We have really enjoyed using N’s and I just wanted to share our experience. It has given us a wonderful sense of security that is worth more than gold.

I suppose I should start with a little background on N. He was diagnosed with classic autism before ASD was redefined. I’m not trying to get into a “my kid is more autistic than your kid” contest. I just wanted to illustrate his level of disability. He is verbal with people he knows well, but even then he has a very hard time reading a situation and communicating what is going on. For example, he is convinced that Jesus is a zombie because He rose from the dead and no one can convince him otherwise. It’s adorable, but he would really be at a disadvantage if he needed help.

When we decided to send him to school part time, I really worried that he might get lost and not be able to ask a stranger or even a police officer for help. It’s a very real threat that often ends badly. This study shows that almost half of all children with ASD wander regardless of where they are.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/study-confirms-autism-wandering-common-scary

We both wear medic alert bracelets for our genetic disorder, but it is so rare that it is more likely to confuse EMS rather than help. I looked into a GPS device so we could at least track him if he wandered off. Some were crazy expensive and some were very unreliable according to other reviews. I had a hard time finding something that would work for us and still be durable enough for a nine year old boy.

As luck would have it, dropping my phone in the tub was the best thing I ever did. When we were at the Verizon store, our friendly sales associate immediately offered to show us the new Gizmopal. He has worked with us before so he knew about N’s condition. It’s going to sound like I am exaggerating, but it really is this awesome and the perfect solution.

Some of the features include:

  • Program up to 4 numbers that can be called by the device. Other numbers can’t be dialed.
  • Two way calling so I can call him and it will automatically pick up after 10 seconds
  • GPS tracker that can be checked in real time through the Gizmohub app
  • The app is super easy to use. I am not very tech savvy, but I was able to program his numbers and set location boundaries in a couple of minutes.
  • It’s very reasonably priced at $80 with a contract.
  • The best part is how kid friendly it is. In addition to making phone calls, the buttons make cool noises and tell time. Of course, it is comfortable, durable and waterproof.

Here is a link to more information and a store locator where you can pick up one of your own.

https://www.verizonwireless.com/simulator/LG/gizmo_pal_2/embedded.html