Drinking water is so important for your health, but so many people just don’t like the taste. My dear husband would eat lard with a spoon if I let him and he hates water. His knock off yeti, however, keeps it ice cold so he actually drinks it that way. Here is a great tutorial for how to keep your stainless steel cup sparkling clean.
Let’s talk about sex, baby!
I have had several people ask me about my sex life or just gimpy sex in general. I thought it would be fun to answer them all in one monster post. I do think that I should warn you that I don’t have a filter and I’m pretty open about sex. If you are more modest then this may offend you. The following post will contain discussions about human anatomy, fetish, sex therapy, sex workers, etc. If you aren’t comfortable with any of this, then I understand and I will see you in the next post.
Do you have real sex with your husband? If so, how?
This was by far the most frequent question asked. I have to admit that I laughed at the “normal” part. I never really cared for “normal” anything, but I’m assuming they meant vaginal intercourse. I have had 4 vaginal surgeries so we couldn’t do it that way while I was recovering each time. There are other ways to be intimate and we took advantage of them all. When I am okay for intercourse, we do it like anyone who is able bodied. I can even get on top if I am careful and hang on to the headboard for leverage.
Do you still like sex? Isn’t it just numb?
The spinal cord is a funny thing. Someone can be paralysed or, in my case, have partial paralysis and still have quite a bit of feeling below their injury level. Many people can’t feel anything superficial, but feel deep pressure in the muscles underneath their skin. Some report that their nerves act strangely after. For example, someone could be touching their back, but they feel it in their butt. Others, like me, experience increased sensitivity and actually enjoy sex more after their injury.
Is there anything different that you have to do, medically or otherwise, to have sex?
For me, not really, but a lot of wheelchair users do have some special needs. Catheters are very common in the wheelchair community. I have a sacral nerve stimulator that helps to stimulate the nerves that empty my bladder, but not completely. I only need to cath 2x a day so I use a straight cath that is inserted to pee, then removed. For those of us who can’t pee on their own at all, many people use an implanted catheter which means that it stays in the bladder. A Foley catheter is inserted into the urethra and to have sex, a man can tape the tubing up the shaft of the penis and cover it with a condom. A woman can simply push the tubing to the side. This can be very uncomfortable so a supra pubic catheter (a surgically implanted device that accesses the bladder through the belly) is often used. Depending on the severity of the injury, men can have issues getting or maintaining an erection. Viagra and vibrators can help tremendously.
Can you recommend anything that could make sex easier for someone with poor mobility?
Sex swings are very helpful and a lot of fun. Many of us have a hydraulic lift that can used as a gimpy sex swing.
Sex furniture is very popular with able bodied people.
For those who have problems with movement, The Intimate Rider can assist with thrusting. It’s basically a sexy, gimpy rocking chair.
So does your husband have a fetish and that’s why he is still with you?
I won’t comment on my Hubby’s kinks in general, but I will say that he isn’t a devotee and he isn’t trolling the medical supply store for dates. A devotee is someone who has a fetish for disabled people. I’m fine with whatever happens as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, but I do have an issue with using someone as a gimpy sex toy. Don’t use us as some weird bucket list item, but then refuse to date us. We’re people, not sex slaves on wheels.
The Happy Ending
This has become a ridiculously long post, but I think I covered most of the questions. I hope this is helpful for curious able bodied people, but also for wheelchair users who think they can’t have sex. Doctors and caregivers often overlook sexuality in the disabled. Many treat us like children which is very unfair. Sex and intimacy are an important part of relationships and life in general. I also wanted to note that I am not a doctor and this isn’t a replacement for medical advice. This is based on my friends and my experiences so other people do things differently.
This doesn’t contain affiliate links.
½ cup almond or soy milk
¾ tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
3 apples, peeled, cored and chopped (I like Pink Lady)
¼ cup dried cherries
½ cup gluten-free rolled oats
¼ cup chopped walnuts
2 Tbs ground flax seeds
Peel, core and chop apples. (I use this because it is easier for me to use and it cuts down on prep time.)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix together milk, vanilla, and cinnamon.
Stir in remaining ingredients.
Pour mixture into a greased 8×8-inch baking dish.
Bake, uncovered, for 1 hour.
This is not only a great way to save money. It is a godsend for someone who has chemical sensitivity or allergies.
This is not a sponsored post. We have really enjoyed using N’s and I just wanted to share our experience. It has given us a wonderful sense of security that is worth more than gold.
I suppose I should start with a little background on N. He was diagnosed with classic autism before ASD was redefined. I’m not trying to get into a “my kid is more autistic than your kid” contest. I just wanted to illustrate his level of disability. He is verbal with people he knows well, but even then he has a very hard time reading a situation and communicating what is going on. For example, he is convinced that Jesus is a zombie because He rose from the dead and no one can convince him otherwise. It’s adorable, but he would really be at a disadvantage if he needed help.
When we decided to send him to school part time, I really worried that he might get lost and not be able to ask a stranger or even a police officer for help. It’s a very real threat that often ends badly. This study shows that almost half of all children with ASD wander regardless of where they are.
We both wear medic alert bracelets for our genetic disorder, but it is so rare that it is more likely to confuse EMS rather than help. I looked into a GPS device so we could at least track him if he wandered off. Some were crazy expensive and some were very unreliable according to other reviews. I had a hard time finding something that would work for us and still be durable enough for a nine year old boy.
As luck would have it, dropping my phone in the tub was the best thing I ever did. When we were at the Verizon store, our friendly sales associate immediately offered to show us the new Gizmopal. He has worked with us before so he knew about N’s condition. It’s going to sound like I am exaggerating, but it really is this awesome and the perfect solution.
Some of the features include:
- Program up to 4 numbers that can be called by the device. Other numbers can’t be dialed.
- Two way calling so I can call him and it will automatically pick up after 10 seconds
- GPS tracker that can be checked in real time through the Gizmohub app
- The app is super easy to use. I am not very tech savvy, but I was able to program his numbers and set location boundaries in a couple of minutes.
- It’s very reasonably priced at $80 with a contract.
- The best part is how kid friendly it is. In addition to making phone calls, the buttons make cool noises and tell time. Of course, it is comfortable, durable and waterproof.
Here is a link to more information and a store locator where you can pick up one of your own.
Like many people who have a chronic illness, I am always cold. Trying to stay warm in a wheelchair can be challenging. Coats can be bulky and hard to remove while seated. Blankets can get tangled in the wheels. I really envy those babies who are warm and cozy in their little car seat covers. I have yet to find one that is big enough to go over me and the wheelchair, but I do have some crafty solutions.
Modify your clothes so they are easier to use.
There are a few companies that make “wheelchair garments” but since they are speciality items, they can get rather pricey. I cheaped out and just cut my jacket down the back, then I added a couple of buttons at the top. Now it is much easier for my hubby to slip it off with me having to transfer.
Mermaids are warm and gorgeous
I’m sure you have seen all of the cute little mermaid tails that are so popular right now. Since they are more like a sack or cocoon, you don’t have to worry about it dragging the ground, falling off or getting tangled up in the wheels. There are plenty of patterns for making your own, but I just decided to wing it. I think it turned out well and it is really warm.
If you can’t crochet or sew, you could also make one using fleece and liquid stitch.
I also made one that looks like a slice of pizza, because I am completely ridiculous. I also think it is a good conversation piece particularly around kids who may be frightened by a wheelchair.
Always be yourself…unless you can be a Disney princess.
I came across this pattern on ravelry and I knew I had to have one.
I modified it so it is the perfect length and added a belt to keep it on my waistline. I also made a Cinderella wig to completely the look, because there is a fine line between eccentric and crazy which I like to play jump rope with.