Things that are romantic:

Sending someone a love letter

Writing a poem

Sending them flowers

Telling them why you love them

Saying they look nice

Putting their needs and happiness before yours

Standing by them through anything

Buying them yarn

Making someone laugh

Being stupid and silly together

Listening to their problems

trying to please them sexually

 

Things that are NOT romantic:

Treating someone like a child

Calling them dumb

Demanding that although they think they love you, they really don’t because they aren’t smart enough to understand their own feelings

Refusing to even try to compromise because it is in the best interest of the one you love

Insisting that they need to watch you commit suicide

Telling the love of your life and parents that you don’t care how your suicide would break their hearts and telling them to “live boldly”.

Wallowing in self pity and wail that life isn’t fair because you are paralyzed through no fault of your own. Sure, you didn’t look before driving out into oncoming traffic and could have killed someone, but everyone does that, right?

You are also rich because your parents have a lot of money, which isn’t fair either but who cares. Life is hard even when you have the best medical care, assistive technology and 2 full time assistants. Just complain to a poverty stricken young woman that loves you and tell her you have absolutely nothing to live for.

If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the plotline of the movie/book Me Before You.

Why in this day and age do we still have to deal with such widespread ableism that this is considered romantic? Love is unconditional or it isn’t love. Love is also eternal whereas grief is temporary. Depression an illness that needs to be treated. If you feel suicidal, then please remember that help is available and your death would matter to those who love you.