What is and is not romantic

 

Things that are romantic:

Sending someone a love letter

Writing a poem

Sending them flowers

Telling them why you love them

Saying they look nice

Putting their needs and happiness before yours

Standing by them through anything

Buying them yarn

Making someone laugh

Being stupid and silly together

Listening to their problems

trying to please them sexually

 

Things that are NOT romantic:

Treating someone like a child

Calling them dumb

Demanding that although they think they love you, they really don’t because they aren’t smart enough to understand their own feelings

Refusing to even try to compromise because it is in the best interest of the one you love

Insisting that they need to watch you commit suicide

Telling the love of your life and parents that you don’t care how your suicide would break their hearts and telling them to “live boldly”.

Wallowing in self pity and wail that life isn’t fair because you are paralyzed through no fault of your own. Sure, you didn’t look before driving out into oncoming traffic and could have killed someone, but everyone does that, right?

You are also rich because your parents have a lot of money, which isn’t fair either but who cares. Life is hard even when you have the best medical care, assistive technology and 2 full time assistants. Just complain to a poverty stricken young woman that loves you and tell her you have absolutely nothing to live for.

If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the plotline of the movie/book Me Before You.

Why in this day and age do we still have to deal with such widespread ableism that this is considered romantic? Love is unconditional or it isn’t love. Love is also eternal whereas grief is temporary. Depression an illness that needs to be treated. If you feel suicidal, then please remember that help is available and your death would matter to those who love you.

3 comments

  1. wittyAyJ · October 22, 2017

    thats so true..
    but whats intriguing is that mere simple phrases captures romance while Non Romantic urges a lot of explaination (as in the post ) !!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • askagimp · October 22, 2017

      I just had a bizarre argument with someone who said it was the most romantic thing ever to kill yourself so that your spouse won’t have to watch you “just sit around and breathe”. I understand why she is confused by what paralysis is because the author didn’t understand it either. What I found so disturbing was the fact that she had no idea why disabled murder porn isn’t romantic. I thought it was kind of a no brainer, but apparently it needed to be spelled out. Here’s my PSA on how to love someone without being a whiny entitled brat combined with an After School Special on the importance of looking both ways before crossing the street.

      Like

  2. livingwhileican · October 28, 2017

    Buying them yarn! I like it

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s